Bingo Jokes!!!!!!!!!

[lipstick_xoxos]

The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and had proceeded to give an oral quiz to the freshman class.

Speaking specifically about manic depression, the instructor asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who sits quietly one moment and starts swearing at the top of his lungs the next minute at someone across the room?

A young woman in the rear of the room raised her hand and answered, "A bingo player?"

[Imagin.ation]

LMAO!!!

[Feelin froggy]

lips, girl you kill me!

[lipstick_xoxos]

Obama Nobel Peace Prize Won Playing Bingo - Novel Piece Prize

President Obama's Nobel Peace Prize was in fact a mistake. Obama actually won a Novel Piece Prize after playing bingo at an online bingo site. The prize was won at a Norwegian online gaming site when he managed to call bingo in under 45 balls.

The confusion arose in the English translation from the site. In Norwegian the letters B and V are actually pronounced the same way. When the email was sent to the Whitehouse informing the President, who is an avid bingo player, of his win the staff were totally surprised. One staff member who wished not to be named said. "We were in a state of shock. It seemed amazing to us that the president had won a prize for peace, especially after he had just sent in extra troops to Afghanistan. Unfortunately the news was released to the world before the error was noticed."

The Novel Piece Prize is in fact a electronic wine bottle opener in the shape of a popular Norwegian pop singer. The online bingo site said they regretted the error but unfortunately could not award the President with the Nobel Peace Prize but would still ship out the Novel Piece Prize by DHL tomorrow.

[Feelin froggy]

too funny!

[lipstick_xoxos]

A man goes to the doctor. The doc checks him over, and says "Sorry mate, but you have yellow 24, a nasty virus, so-called as it turns your blood yellow and you only have 24 hours to live. There's nothing I can do for you - just go home and enjoy your final precious moments on earth."

So back he trudges home to wifey, and breaks the news. Distraught, she asks him to accompany her to bingo that evening so he can experience her idea of a night out, as he's never been there before.

He gets his 1st card, and wins 4 corners - prize £350, and then gets any line and wins £3200. He also calls for a full house - and wins a grand. The national grid comes up and he wins a further £380,000.

The Bingo Caller gets him on stage, and says "Son - I've never seen you in here in all my life, but you won 4 corners, any line, full house & the national grid - I've never met anyone so lucky."

"Lucky??" the man replies, "lucky? I'll have you know I've got yellow 24."
"Dear me," says the bingo caller with a chuckle, "you've won the bloody raffle as well!”

 

[Imagin.ation]

LMAO!!!   

Thank You Lips!

[blueday]

  brilliant.

blue

[lipstick_xoxos]

The concession stand at a local bingo hall was trying to increase business so it started offering its own pull tab for people who bought their large cup of coffee. Prizes on the pull tab were for free food and small prizes at the food counter.

A blonde gets her pull tab, peels it off and starts screaming, "I've won a motor home! I've won a motor home!" The waitress says, "That's impossible. The biggest prize is a free lunch."
But the blonde keeps screaming, "I've won a motor home! I've won a motor home!"

Finally the concession stand owner comes over and says, "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you're mistaken. You couldn't possibly have won a motor home because we didn't have that as a prize!"

The blonde says, "No it's not a mistake. I've won a motor home!" She hands the ticket to the manager and he reads...
"W I N A B A G E L"

 

Lips

[Feelin froggy]

  Where do you find these?

WINABAGEL LMAO

[lipstick_xoxos]

 

BINGO GALS TALK CASINO HUBBIES

Two longtime friends liked to play bingo every Friday night and discuss their husbands who also liked to gamble.

“My husband’s going to a casino in central Asia,” says one elderly Bingo player to another.

“Tibet?”

“Of course,” the old woman says, quite annoyed. “Why else would he go to a casino?”

 

[lipstick_xoxos]

Joe the bingo caller fancied one of the pretty ladies who came to play bingo every week. Getting the courage, he asked her out on a date and eventually married her.

Carl who sold scratch cards during bingo was a bit surprised and remarked to Joe, "You are such a big, brawny guy. Why one earth did you marry such a tiny, petite woman?

She is no bigger than your hand." "That's right, Carl," replied the bingo caller. "But she strokes that jumbo dabber much better!"

[lipstick_xoxos]

A woman goes to bingo and brings her pet duck for luck.

The duck curious, walks up to the bingo stand that sells dabbers, bingo bags and good luck trinkets and asks, "Got any grapes?"

The bingo worker confused, tells the duck no. The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day the women returns to bingo hall with the duck, the duck returns to bingo stand and asks, "Got any grapes?"

The bingo worker, confused, tells the duck no. The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns with bingo player and again goes to bingo stand and asks, "Got any grapes?"

Again, the bingo worker tells him, "No -- this bingo stand does not sell grapes, has never sold grapes and, furthermore, will never sell grapes." The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bingo worker yells, "Listen, duck! This is a bingo stand! We do not sell grapes! If you ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bingo stand!"

The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, "Got any nails?"

Confused, the bingo worker says no.

"Good!" says the duck. "Got any grapes?"