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How to Install an Inexpensive Home Security System:
1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots. Place them on your front porch.
2. Put a few copies of Guns & Ammo magazine next to the boots.
3. Put several giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Then leave a note on your door that says, "Bubba - Went out for more ammo, be back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls. I locked all four of em in the house, so you best wait outside." Cooter
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